How God Rewrote My Story at a Bar Called Hooligan's
Twelve years ago, my life changed forever.
It was one of the most normal(ish), mundane encounters in my world at that time, but in the grand scheme of things, it was a monumental shift in the spirit realm.
It was the beginning of a new trajectory that I am still walking in today. You wouldn't have known it at first, but God sure did.
On Saturday, July 12, 2014, I went to work at my bartending gig as usual to serve at a private event. I dragged through that shift and was relieved when I was told I could shut it down around 1am.
My good friend texted me that she was at a bar across the street from me called Hooligan's, and she told me to come by before heading home. I decided to swing in just to grab one shot of tequila... yes, I was that type of girl. Don't judge.
I hadn't even sat down for five minutes when a guy came out who pretended not to really notice me and instead talked smack to the guy my friend was with. I don't remember the finer details, but I do remember thinking to myself how rude he was. I believe I even made a comment out loud to my friends.
They laughed it off and let me know he was a friend, but I still wasn't entertained by it.
To give some perspective, I was totally over men.
I was a single mom to an almost two-year-old. I was in yet another transition out of being an undercover stripper and escort, all while attending college full-time. I did not have the best view of men, and I sure did not entertain the thought of dating one.
The false reality was that I had two other men in my life during that time who I thought had a mutual understanding and agreement with, who helped me get money in various ways. However, the true reality was that both of those men exploited me for their own gain. I endured much trauma from those two men at different times, but nonetheless, it was the cards I was dealt to "make it by."
I am not going to spend too much time there — if you want the full story, that's what my book is for. But I share it here because it matters for what comes next: I was NOT interested in dating, and I sure wasn't looking for it.
Which is exactly the headspace I was in when I met the bartender that night — I'd later learn his name was Derek. He was a close friend of the guy we were hanging out with.
It was pretty much closing time for them, so my friend and I went inside to close out our tabs. As we were sitting at the end of the bar waiting for our cards to be run, my friend leaned in close and said, "If you don't go for it, I am going to." She was wild and crazy, so I told her to go for it. She laughed and said, "Seriously girl, he's a good catch and hot. You need to go for it!"
I blew her idea off and told her she was crazy.
To my surprise, Derek didn't bring my card back to me from behind the bar. Instead, he walked around and asked me to come to him. Reluctantly, I obliged and walked up to him, grabbing my card and the receipt from his hand.
With a half smirk, he asked if he could have my number. He said something along the lines of me being pretty, or something like that.
With my friend's intense encouragement, I agreed, gave him my number, and left.
A few of us went back to my friend's apartment to hang out. Things were getting a bit rowdy, and I realized quickly that I was the third wheel, so I told the guy we were with to have Derek come over.
Once he showed up, the room shifted. I must admit, Derek commanded the room when he walked in. (Don't tell him I said that, lol.)
I pretended not to notice and played it cool. We clicked pretty quickly and spent the night (or really, the morning) making fun of our friends. They were extremely intoxicated and acting silly. I will admit, we were partaking in smoking the devil's lettuce, which likely influenced the amount of laughter between Derek and me.
Nonetheless, we were having a grand old time. Everyone fell asleep, but not us two. And somewhere in that time, we had an intimate moment where he took my glasses off and told me how beautiful I was. Cue the awws and the ewws!
It was extremely corny, but in my world, it was all I needed for a complete paradigm shift. I blushed, looked away, did my awkward, uncomfortable smile, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say much.
I am telling you, it was simple but so powerful.
Twelve years ago, a simple gesture changed my life forever.
Today, Derek Thorne is my husband, with whom I share two children.
The last twelve years have been filled with trials and tribulations, but they have shaped us into the strong man and woman of God we are today.
So today, I am grateful for my corny husband who wasn't afraid to look me in my eyes and speak truth to my soul.
Love you, Mr. Thorne!
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